Whether your teen has issues with substance use, bullying, failing grades or running away from home, one thing remains constant: If you want your child to change, you must change first. Parenting teens is like parenting toddlers -- you're sleep-deprived, stressed out, second-guessing yourself and worst of all -- you're dealing with tantrums. I've spent years counseling youth from all walks of life: Rich, poor, Black, white, special education students, "gifted and talented," on probation, living in foster homes, Ivy-league bound, expelled and athletically blessed. And please don't think because you have a few letters behind your name, you know what I'm going through Do you even have kids? Frustrated parents go with angry teens like Labrador pups go with Clydesdale horses in Super Bowl commercials.
Is It an Adolescent Phase—or Out-of-Control Behavior?
Teenage Phase or Out of Control? | Empowering Parents
Tantrums, defiance, moodiness, intense emotions, impulsive and reckless conduct. Sometimes it may be hard to believe, but no, your teenager is not an alien being from a distant planet. Your teen may be taller than you and seem mature in some respects, but often they are simply unable to think things through on an adult level. Hormones produced during the physical changes of adolescence can further complicate things. Understanding adolescent development can help you find ways to stay connected to your teen and overcome problems together. No matter how much your teen seems to withdraw from you emotionally, no matter how independent your teen appears, or how troubled your teen becomes, they still need your attention and to feel loved by you. Teens differ from adults in their ability to read and understand emotions in the faces of others.
Redux: Britain’s “Unloved, Unhappy and Out of Control” Youth (Time magazine, April 2008)
The one with the heart palpitating so loudly that you cannot contain yourself. The one yelling and complaining about the coach. The one hollering at the year-old referee. The one angry at my kid for making a mistake.
How do you know if your child is going through an adolescent phase, or if his out-of-control behavior is here to stay? Parents will do a lot to deny that, partly because of how bad it makes them feel. Perhaps friends or relatives have assured them with these words.